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Peacock Feathers		#121	[url]	[-]
Posts: 3387 01/15/08 9:42 PM Snow Leopard	ozscot3 wrote: However those 'debates', those discussions are not about the individuals posting and never should be - you discuss events, you discuss sport, you discuss politics, you discuss religion and you have an opinion on them - On my own boards I allow a certain amount of 'attack' BUT ONLY ON THE POST AND NEVER ON THE POSTER - Attack what's written, don't attack the poster because ultimately that ends in tears - ALWAYS! Continued..... fantastic post oz!!!
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Peacock Feathers		#122	[url]	[-]
Posts: 3387 01/15/08 9:44 PM Snow Leopard	it's great to have a debate. But when people start attacking the POSTER by calling them names and insulting harrassing them, it is no longer a debate. thiss goes on everywhere.
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ozscot3		#123	[url]	[-]
Posts: 9 01/15/08 10:01 PM	To Bettysue... Hi Bettysue - really it's simple - if someone posts that Republicans are a 'bunch of money grabbing, self interested people with no interest in the greater health of humanity' then simply address that issue by showing them examples of caring, philanthropic, socially aware Republicans - and you completely destroy their argument. Whereas if you respond by saying something like 'This shows that you are an ill educated communist with your head up your ass' then really you've moved away from the content of the post and made it a personal issue. We're too complex as individuals for people to be presumptious about us. You'll never really get to know anyone fully on the internet or where they are coming from so you gotta leave the personal out of it. Continued.......
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ozscot3		#124	[url]	[-]
Posts: 9 01/15/08 10:02 PM	I don't know how many times on other boards I've been 'shouted down' at the personal level because I don't believe in capital punishment for example - people scream at me telling me they 'hope nothing ever happens to any of my kids because it will soon put my stupid opinion on the matter right' - and yet they don't realise I'm the father of a ten year old girl who was abducted, raped, stabbed, had every orifice of her body filled with super glue and left for dead. So if anyone REALLY knows the pain of what it's like - it's me. But I don't want to have to explain that to every person I talk to on the internet - simply respect the fact I have an opinion and I know where I'm coming from and deal with the 'issue' (the post) and not presume I'm talking out my ass.....in the same way that I truly respect those who believe in the death penalty - I think they are wrong but it does not mean they are stupid or have no grounds for believing what they do! Oz
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amberkitty1		#125	[url]	[-]
Posts: 4 01/15/08 10:06 PM	omg.......I'm deeply sorry what happened to your child. :-(
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Sunshine DQ		#126	[url]	[-]
Posts: 378 01/15/08 10:23 PM	ozscot3 wrote: If I can see a mistake that's been made here it is that attacking the poster and not the post has been allowed to go on for too long - God knows when it started or how it started but this board will not make it unless the personal insults stop - attack the post! Not the poster! Oz Excellent post, Oz!!! I couldn't agree more!!! And I am so sorry for what happened to your little girl! ((((((Oz))))))
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ozscot3		#127	[url]	[-]
Posts: 9 01/15/08 10:41 PM	Thanks Sunshine and Amber - Life's too short to fight with one another - we learn nothing from arguing other than how to argue better - is that what we want to do? Argue? I not only come here to give my opinion, I come to hear others and see how that might better inform my own - I'm never going to accept anyone's point of view who starts off with the premis that I'm a dickhead lol...and of course neither would any of you - even if we come from extreme ends of the spectrum it doesn't mean we can't stop and talk in the middle somewhere... Oz
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Sunshine DQ		#128	[url]	[-]
Posts: 378 01/15/08 10:55 PM	ozscot3 wrote: Thanks Sunshine and Amber - Life's too short to fight with one another - we learn nothing from arguing other than how to argue better - is that what we want to do? Argue? I not only come here to give my opinion, I come to hear others and see how that might better inform my own - I'm never going to accept anyone's point of view who starts off with the premis that I'm a dickhead lol...and of course neither would any of you - even if we come from extreme ends of the spectrum it doesn't mean we can't stop and talk in the middle somewhere... Oz Respect is hugely important!
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sashoo		#129	[url]	[-]
Posts: 617 01/15/08 11:34 PM	amberkitty1 wrote: The insults started back during the ebay days of Town Square or Soapbox. Most of the folks used to post there (and some still do as well as the spin off boards). From there, Ned the toothpick board was created as an alternative to the Ebay boards. Unfortunately, Utopia was not in the cards so a spin off of Neds was created called "Counter the toothprick". Eventually another spin off of Neds was created here by Flip. Most of the folks have known at least one or more posters for years whether it was ebay, Neds or CTTP. Interpersonal disputes have been carried from board to board and in some cases grudges continued for years. Another words, the 3 spin off boards are "cousins" of a large dysfunctional family of ebay boards. Is it silly? yup. Yet for most of us it was entertainment until it became too cruel to tolerate at times. This board is going through a lot lately (especially when the owner left the board because he's busy with other things). It will be a slow process but this board can survive; those who have certain things in common and respectful to others will stay; those who prefer interpersonal disputes vs debating topics will abandon this board. New blood is welcomed and those who want to make the ship sail once again will be appreciated very much. You pretty much are on target, Ozcot. Nothing wrong with a heated debate but when it becomes too personal, it will hurt the board. I'm sorry, Amber, but I just don't believe that Flip jumped ship because he was too busy. That's just never made sense to me. It would be nice to believe that, sure, but I just can't.
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amberkitty1		#130	[url]	[-]
Posts: 4 01/15/08 11:54 PM	That was the reason given to Corpsie and Tracy. I have no reason to support or deny Flip's claim. We can speculate all we want why he isn't here but it does not matter at this point; Corpsie has the wheel now.
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amberkitty1		#131	[url]	[-]
Posts: 4 01/15/08 11:55 PM	I get the feeling you don't want to be here, Sashoo. That is unfortunate but hey the board will move on.
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Corpsie I		#132	[url]	[-]
Posts: 5885 01/16/08 12:09 AM	He said in his few post after he "retired" that he felt he was "wasting his time" here and didn't care to do that anymore. What is the point in questioning why he left? He still left and it doesn't appear he has any intention of returning. If it was because of me, or he was sick of the bitchin or disappointed in the behavior of people he thought were his friends....what is the point in dredging all that up...it was his choice to leave and it has nothing to do with anything that is going on now.
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amberkitty1		#133	[url]	[-]
Posts: 4 01/16/08 12:13 AM	Well there you have it, Sashoo. Looks like you are more on target than me as to why Flip left the board.
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Corpsie I		#134	[url]	[-]
Posts: 5885 01/16/08 12:20 AM	Hey Amber and Sashoo......sorry about your friend Amber. ((((Amber))))
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amberkitty1		#135	[url]	[-]
Posts: 4 01/16/08 12:22 AM	thanks Corpsie. :-)
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sashoo		#136	[url]	[-]
Posts: 617 01/16/08 3:37 AM	amberkitty1 wrote: I get the feeling you don't want to be here, Sashoo. That is unfortunate but hey the board will move on. Boards go through stages of birth, development, expansion, entrenchment, purgation and re-birth. It's all very cyclical. (and perhaps a bit cynical) Best to not burn bridges, but to try and stay on decent terms. Cheers,
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Corpsie I		#137	[url]	[-]
Posts: 5885 01/16/08 8:55 AM	try and stay on decent terms. Sashoo, I like you and I respect your opinion....but until you've had a gang of jealous women attacking your every move, you may not want to make those type of statements. I have seen many people on these chats boards run off or singled out....just because some were jealous of them. If you watch the meltdown of the soapbox before Nitrous opened Ned's, you witnessed it.....they drug poor Artistic through town for months and said the most vile, vulgar, nasty things to her that you could possible imagine another human being saying. I'm just saying that you don't necessarily have to do anything on a chat board to wind up being on the top of the "jealous bitches" list.
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amberkitty1		#138	[url]	[-]
Posts: 4 01/16/08 1:16 PM	:-) at Sashoo.
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sashoo		#139	[url]	[-]
Posts: 617 01/16/08 1:21 PM	Corpsie I wrote: try and stay on decent terms. Sashoo, I like you and I respect your opinion....but until you've had a gang of jealous women attacking your every move, you may not want to make those type of statements. I have seen many people on these chats boards run off or singled out....just because some were jealous of them. If you watch the meltdown of the soapbox before Nitrous opened Ned's, you witnessed it.....they drug poor Artistic through town for months and said the most vile, vulgar, nasty things to her that you could possible imagine another human being saying. I'm just saying that you don't necessarily have to do anything on a chat board to wind up being on the top of the "jealous bitches" list. I'm not saying it is easy to stay on decent terms with folks, but that it's best to do so if possible, particularly if there is no compelling reason not to be. Certainly many people have been treated badly, and some have been treated unfairly. And some have been treated badly and unfairly. Others have received entirely what they have deserved. People run what they see through their own lenses and make judgments based on what they see and what they know. And what they think they know. Sometimes, in doing that, bridges are burned. It's inevitable. And some folks here have been at this for a long time before I came along, and will still be at it a long time after I have gone. Why? Who knows? Ask them.
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Peacock Feathers		#140	[url]	[-]
Posts: 3387 01/16/08 9:37 PM Snow Leopard	OMG Oz, I just read your post about your little girl. I am so sorry. May God be with you and your family.
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